Story Editing on a Sunday Afternoon

We have a small farmer’s market in our area, and a large one in the next town over.  The large one is amazing, with a huge variety of fresh produce, boutique cheeses and breads, kettle corn, plants, and this place that makes these bagel sandwiches that are delicious.  I love the large farmer’s market, but I visit our neighborhood market most every week.  The selection is smaller, but the vendors are local and have time to tell you stories about what they’ve brought to sell.

Today, the produce seller told me how good the strawberries were, and he knows because he used to sneak onto the farm at night as a kid and steal the fruit.  “That’s a Peter Rabbit story,” I said.  He agreed – he was the rabbit.

Peter Rabbit almost got caught by the farmer when he snagged his coat on the garden fence.  The story makes you love the naughty rabbit, but satisfied he got what was coming to him after disobeying his mom and stealing.

I wrote a story not too long ago about retribution and fresh produce.  Today’s visit to the farmer’s market inspired me to work on it to tighten up the editing.  Here’s a snippet:

“Gel-stiff hair fallen on their foreheads, the girls wear tiny graphic T-shirts pulled on over shorts and pajama pants that ride their slim hips. They have stained Toms instead of slippers on their feet, but the effect is the same. They’ve rolled out of bed less than an hour ago, still recovering from the last night’s adventure. Their shirts define them:

“Whirled Peas” in a paintbrush font, with a smiling pea pod.

“Biker Chick” shaped like a cruiser with woodland creatures in the basket. 

“I Don’t Eat Innocent Animals” in bold red. 

They forage along the sun-washed windows, new as the morning themselves.”

from Tomatoes, by Victoria Nations

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